The following are notes i took while backpacking through Japan for 7 weeks - a childhood dream of mine.
-- in Tokyo, first night
Happiness = good food + social interaction + knowledge
Happiness = good food + social interaction + knowledge
-- another day
Chemistry and physics subatomic is the engine the world gets rendered on. Like Opengl and physics in video games.
Chemistry and physics subatomic is the engine the world gets rendered on. Like Opengl and physics in video games.
-- another day
If you're a duck in a Japanese garden, does it matter if this garden is in the middle of a city?
If you're a duck in a Japanese garden, does it matter if this garden is in the middle of a city?
-- another day
The truth reveals to those who struggle.
The truth reveals to those who struggle.
-- another day
Personal happiness vs collective duty. In Japan "personal" means selfish.
Personal happiness vs collective duty. In Japan "personal" means selfish.
-- another day
Once you become rich, principles start to matter. The money aspect becomes irrelevant and all is left is humanity.
Once you become rich, principles start to matter. The money aspect becomes irrelevant and all is left is humanity.
-- another day
Tokyo is a lonely place.
Tokyo is a lonely place.
-- in Kamakura
Japan's the land of nostalgia for past lives' experiences.
Japan's the land of nostalgia for past lives' experiences.
-- in Fukuoka
And it all makes sense now. Military like discipline and hierarchy extended to school, work and daily life. Foreigners will never be accepted into society because they are viewed as cheaters. They didn't put in all those years of training and suffering and don't deserve to be Japanese. Plus they can always tap out and go back to their countries if things become too hard.
And it all makes sense now. Military like discipline and hierarchy extended to school, work and daily life. Foreigners will never be accepted into society because they are viewed as cheaters. They didn't put in all those years of training and suffering and don't deserve to be Japanese. Plus they can always tap out and go back to their countries if things become too hard.
-- another day
Japan thinks that school/work/life should be hard, if it's not then you're lazy or incompetent and doing something wrong.
Japan thinks that school/work/life should be hard, if it's not then you're lazy or incompetent and doing something wrong.
-- another day
Japan is like a military that you can never join. Unless you're born into it, you'll never be accepted and viewed as a poser and an imposter if you try to adapt and integrate. Nobody army wants to see a civilian wear its uniform.
Japan is like a military that you can never join. Unless you're born into it, you'll never be accepted and viewed as a poser and an imposter if you try to adapt and integrate. Nobody army wants to see a civilian wear its uniform.
-- another day
As i walk through the desert of Japan...
- i wonder if i should fulfill the gaijin stereotype
- i might as well be invisible
As i walk through the desert of Japan...
- i wonder if i should fulfill the gaijin stereotype
- i might as well be invisible
Group harmony...
-- in Nagasaki
Strange that we never get to know our own skeleton.
Strange that we never get to know our own skeleton.
-- in Kagoshima
The deeply-ingrained Japanese philosophy of "uchi" and "soto"; Essentially, close co-workers, family members and long-term friends are "uchi" (inside) and everyone else is "soto" (outside). Working your way up from soto to uchi thus takes a very long time and a lot of favour giving-and-taking.
The deeply-ingrained Japanese philosophy of "uchi" and "soto"; Essentially, close co-workers, family members and long-term friends are "uchi" (inside) and everyone else is "soto" (outside). Working your way up from soto to uchi thus takes a very long time and a lot of favour giving-and-taking.
-- in Hiroshima
It's a Japanese virtue to be considerate and respectful of others.
It's a Japanese virtue to be considerate and respectful of others.
-- in Matsuyama
Things just are.
Things just are.
-- in Takamatsu
Just noticed that all taxi drivers here wear ties. This cab driver outside the Starbucks window has been patiently waiting for a customer for about 20 min now. Not on his phone or doing anything else, just sitting straight, starting ahead in his seat... Still can't figure out if rigid Japanese society is better than liberal American society.
Just noticed that all taxi drivers here wear ties. This cab driver outside the Starbucks window has been patiently waiting for a customer for about 20 min now. Not on his phone or doing anything else, just sitting straight, starting ahead in his seat... Still can't figure out if rigid Japanese society is better than liberal American society.
-- another day
The perpetual observer, always scared to make any choice.
The perpetual observer, always scared to make any choice.
-- in Kurashiki
As i see how kids are taken into custostody at the gates of the kindergarten in the morning by the educators i realize that what the Japanese have is a very strong sense of group identity. I could feel the teachers' genuine desire to educate these kids to become great human beings, to unlock their potentials. All for a better future of the society and the nation and humanity as a whole, as i still have this feeling that the Japanese society is at the apex of civilization. That's why foreigners are not accepted, they just don't get it, and I'm not sure we even can, as it is something inbubed into them during their childhood. We all have our own legacies to tend to, they don't need our help.
As i see how kids are taken into custostody at the gates of the kindergarten in the morning by the educators i realize that what the Japanese have is a very strong sense of group identity. I could feel the teachers' genuine desire to educate these kids to become great human beings, to unlock their potentials. All for a better future of the society and the nation and humanity as a whole, as i still have this feeling that the Japanese society is at the apex of civilization. That's why foreigners are not accepted, they just don't get it, and I'm not sure we even can, as it is something inbubed into them during their childhood. We all have our own legacies to tend to, they don't need our help.
-- in Koyasan
I might just like suffering.
I might just like suffering.
The good book tells us about the middle way.
-- in Osaka
Osaka is a bit more "normal." Their subway might be a bit slower and there might be a bit more trash around but at least the people seem to not all be zombies like everywhere else on Japan. They even walk on opposite sides of the stairs and escalators.
Osaka is a bit more "normal." Their subway might be a bit slower and there might be a bit more trash around but at least the people seem to not all be zombies like everywhere else on Japan. They even walk on opposite sides of the stairs and escalators.
-- in Kyoto
Walking on a side walk in Japan i feel like i have to exercise more senses than usual. Scout ahead for bikes so i can move to the left beforehand, listen behind for the sounds of a bike chain, at bus stops wait in single file, otherwise people cannot pass as the sidelines sidewalks are too narrow.
Walking on a side walk in Japan i feel like i have to exercise more senses than usual. Scout ahead for bikes so i can move to the left beforehand, listen behind for the sounds of a bike chain, at bus stops wait in single file, otherwise people cannot pass as the sidelines sidewalks are too narrow.
-- another day
So it turns out i don't like traveling with friends either. There's the inevitable freedom you have to trade for their company. The question now is which is worse, loneliness or people.
So it turns out i don't like traveling with friends either. There's the inevitable freedom you have to trade for their company. The question now is which is worse, loneliness or people.
Vitae sal amicitia.
-- in Nara
It's not enough for you dreams to come true. You have to be ready for it.
It's not enough for you dreams to come true. You have to be ready for it.
-- another day
Nobody needs me. It were to just disappear, the world would not notice it. At most a few people would be slightly inconvenienced for a short period of time. Work, a few friends. This is another component of happiness perhaps, being needed by others... I wonder if this is why man creates a family, to feel needed.
Nobody needs me. It were to just disappear, the world would not notice it. At most a few people would be slightly inconvenienced for a short period of time. Work, a few friends. This is another component of happiness perhaps, being needed by others... I wonder if this is why man creates a family, to feel needed.
The biggest source of pleasure for most of my life was and still is escapism. Movies, videogames, books. How does one join the real world?
And now I'm romanticizing the loner lifestyle again. Must be that American western influence :)
And so it must be. The gunslinger...
-- another day
The Japanese are guilty of the sin of collective pride.
The Japanese are guilty of the sin of collective pride.
Watching the ritual of train operators exchange shifts,
saluting one another and bowing countless times, i get the impression
I'm in 19th century England, with its proper etiquette and proper
manners at all times. Even when no one's watching.
-- in Nagoya
Maybe I'm not lonely, maybe I'm just operating at the limit of my ability of human bonding and interaction, and that ability is quite low by normal standards.
Maybe I'm not lonely, maybe I'm just operating at the limit of my ability of human bonding and interaction, and that ability is quite low by normal standards.
-- another day
I don't like it here and i can't quite put my finger on why.
I don't like it here and i can't quite put my finger on why.
-- at Aichi art museum
I feel psychologically assaulted. Their art is generally somber and dark and depressing and cold and creepy. It's almost violent toward the viewer. A lot of abstract reflecting the information and sensory overload of a modern Japanese metropolitan. All borderline depressing.
I feel psychologically assaulted. Their art is generally somber and dark and depressing and cold and creepy. It's almost violent toward the viewer. A lot of abstract reflecting the information and sensory overload of a modern Japanese metropolitan. All borderline depressing.
Maybe art reflects their lack of soul in public. Unless they get drunk :)
-- in Nagoya castle
One of the hardest things in life is to keep things in perspective.
One of the hardest things in life is to keep things in perspective.
-- in Takayama
I don't think racism is a component that makes up enlightenment.
I don't think racism is a component that makes up enlightenment.
-- on bus to Shirakawago
I think god is merely a human concept instead of some being in heaven and it really just represents an aspirational ideal that humanity should strive for. There are other forces at play in the world but god as a being according to the traditional monotheistic religions that created everything and is constantly watching us and is oh so very moody and quick to take offence and anger, expecting prayer at all times is not really there. Unless we're living in a simulated world that logs everything for debugging purposes and the algorithms tend to reward certain behaviors.
I think god is merely a human concept instead of some being in heaven and it really just represents an aspirational ideal that humanity should strive for. There are other forces at play in the world but god as a being according to the traditional monotheistic religions that created everything and is constantly watching us and is oh so very moody and quick to take offence and anger, expecting prayer at all times is not really there. Unless we're living in a simulated world that logs everything for debugging purposes and the algorithms tend to reward certain behaviors.
-- in Kanazawa
I wanna puke from so much cuteness, like when you overdose on sweets.
I wanna puke from so much cuteness, like when you overdose on sweets.
Still can't figure out if this is utopia or dystopia, if i hate
it or love it. For some reason this well mannerness and niceness that
everybody exhibits makes me wanna punch them in the face. Or maybe I'm
just a sociopath.
The Japanese have perfected the art of two facedness.
-- another day
I see, they don't show emotion on their faces (in public?)
I see, they don't show emotion on their faces (in public?)
I wonder if they act like their anime characters or it's vice versa.
There's no announcement inside the train when the shinkansen departs.
-- another day
I am a horrible human being that doesn't know how to be happy even on a vacation. Now what do you think about that? So then what is the source of my unhappiness? Is it as the Buddha says - lust and desire?
I am a horrible human being that doesn't know how to be happy even on a vacation. Now what do you think about that? So then what is the source of my unhappiness? Is it as the Buddha says - lust and desire?
I reject this world and escape from it.
So far, with only a few exceptions, i felt unwelcomed and a bother/burden to Japan. But then again, who likes tourists?
-- in Nikko
For a people that have the saying "okyakusama wa kami sama desu" they definitely have a way of not showing it. This morning at the ryokan breakfast the staff was positively rude, behind their "ohayo gozaimasu" and "arigato gozainasu". I fact i noticed that the more touristy the place, the more rude the staff is.
For a people that have the saying "okyakusama wa kami sama desu" they definitely have a way of not showing it. This morning at the ryokan breakfast the staff was positively rude, behind their "ohayo gozaimasu" and "arigato gozainasu". I fact i noticed that the more touristy the place, the more rude the staff is.
So what have we learned so far. I am a regular horrible
human being, with no control over my emotional or mental states. No
practical wisdom or enlightenment, only an occasional theoretical
insight, and even that is not of my own merit but mostly due to my
above average intelligence (or so I've been led to believe). Who are we
as human beings without lust and without desire? Who are we without
passion and without love. Maybe He spoke of material possessions and
physical lust. Perhaps i should cultivate relationships with others,
friendships and such. But to do that i'd have to overcome my deep
dislike of people...
Revised formula: Happiness = friendships + practice of wisdom + knowledge
The purpose of religion is to make us all better humans. I
seem to have forgotten that not everybody is not supposed to be a monk,
that we all have our roles to play in this world.
People long for what they don't have.
Anime is an idealized version of Japan, with no racism and
no real problems. That's why we like it so much. It's the same thing as
with Hollywood movies, which are quite different than the reality.
Mark Twain was wrong when he said that "Travel is fatal to
prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness". Maybe in his day and age and
if you were a prejudiced narrow minded bigot.
So i guess the source of my suffering is coming from my
inability to easily connect to people. I want to be able to make friends
easily, i want people to like me. I want people to like me.
Could be that's why i like escapism so much, because in
videogames in the hero that everybody likes. And in RPGs i always play
the good guy, never the evil one...
-- another day
Now i have to figure out if when people like me in happy or when people don't - I'm unhappy.
Now i have to figure out if when people like me in happy or when people don't - I'm unhappy.
-- in Sendai, Miyagi art museum
Ok, so they have some nice art too but it all seems copied from Europe, all the original stuff is still creepy and dark.
Ok, so they have some nice art too but it all seems copied from Europe, all the original stuff is still creepy and dark.
-- another day
I want to have charisma. For that i need to develop more confidence.
I want to have charisma. For that i need to develop more confidence.
And so i realized yet another one of my childhood dreams. I'm both happy and sad. My soul-searching has revealed what i guess i already knew, confidence must be cultivated for me to be more happy. I also have to stop crying about what others think. As for Japan, my relationship with it is a complicated one, both love it and hate it at the same time. The only thing more tragic than not getting something is getting it and realizing you have nothing else to desire.
