About women:
"A man cannot reason with the woman he loves: he cares about her too much."
"Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember."
"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are."
"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither."
"Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish women are wise about men."
Misc:
"Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
"They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less."
"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."
Chemistry's first law: if you mix 1kg of gem with 1 kg of shit you get 2 kg of shit.
Chemistry's second law: if you mix 100kg of gem with 1 kg of shit you get 101 kg of very shitty gem.
